Scene: A news conference in Toronto. Justin Trudeau, leader of the federal Liberal Party, is speaking:
Trudeau: Fellow Liberals, I have exciting news to share with you. Joining our party today is the beautiful and talented Amy Adams. Yes! You loved her in "American Hustle," you loved her in "Julie and Julia," and now Amy Adams--
Aide: Psst--Mr. Trudeau. It's not Amy Adams--it's Eve Adams.
Trudeau: Who?
Meanwhile, on Parliament Hill, the Prime Minister's office has drafted a new party song to be sung by loyal Conservatives at future caucus meetings:
"Don't grieve Steve!
Don't leave Steve!
And if you know
What's good for you,
You won't peeve Steve."
Party leaders were unavailable for comment, as they were busy binge-watching "House of Cards."
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