Bibi, Boehner and Baird

"No matter how much bagels and lox you eat, it won't make you Jewish" -- Gerry Altman.

Benjamin Netanyahu, "Bibi" to his buddies, was in Washington, DC to address a joint session of Congress. Not all members of Congress were present; some felt the invitation to the Prime Minister of Israel, extended without running it by President Obama, was a breach of protocol, or a huge display of chutzpah, and simply not kosher. Speaker of the House John Boehner said, "Fey--these guys should quit their kvetching" and privately dissed them as "a bunch of schlemiels."

But there were many in attendance to hear Mr. Netanyahu's speech, among them former Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird, wearing a yarmulke borrowed from Stephen Harper. Israel's Ambassador to the US said, "John's a true mensch."

Mr. Baird, for his part, declared, "We agree with everything the Prime Minister says, and anyone who doesn't is plain meshuga."

Following the address, Speaker Boehner invited the Prime Minister to lunch, saying, "Care for a nosh, Bibi? Uh--is it okay to call you Bibi?"

Mr. Netanyahu: "No."

In the Congressional Dining Room, guests were served schmaltz herring, chicken soup with matzo balls, pastrami and latkes, and Mogen David wine. Mr. Netanyahu said, "I'll have Jack Daniel's and ribs. Make the Jack Daniel's a double."

President Obama did not attend the event. His press secretary explained that "Unfortunately, the President has been called away to attend an urgent pickup basketball game."