Knock! Knock!

Many Conservative candidates, asked why they have not attended all-candidates debates, say, "I'm too busy being out there knocking on doors." Which may be true. Or may be the party line handed down from Conservative HQ. Or both.

But, to be fair, which we seldom are, other parties' candidates also knock on doors. It was reported today that one Calgary candidate--a Liberal--has been disturbing dwellers since sometime in 2014. So far, he has hammered the door or pressed the bell at about 150,000 homes.

The problem with the Conservatives' scripted response is that most all-candidates meetings take place in the evening, so how welcoming would you be when someone knocks on your door at 9:00 p.m.? When you're reading your three-year-old "Curious George" or at a critical moment in "The Good Wife"?

Our advice: Don't answer the door. Or turn all the lights off, and hope the candidate trips over a planter (but doesn't sue). Or jigger your doorbell to emit an electrical charge.

The only time you want night visitors is Hallowe'en eve. But watch out. Even though the election will be over by then, some candidates may still be coming down the street carrying bags and saying, "Okay, I didn't get your vote, but have you got any Snickers?"