Monday, November 6, 2017

"Not a Guns Issue"

President Krusty the Klown (sorry, Krusty--unfair to you) is in Asia, doing what he likes best: eating, tweeting and playing golf. He is also delivering badly written speeches badly, and, when ad libbing, using his seventy-word vocabulary in all the wrong ways.

"Folks, this is not a guns issue, this is a mental health issue. Now I know that in March I revoked an Obama ruling requiring background checks on gun buyers who had a history of mental illness, but as my very good friends in the NRA pointed out, to have subjected these people to checks would have 'unfairly stigmatized the disabled and infringed on their constitutional right to bear arms.' Good writing, huh? Gotta get some of those people working on my speeches for 2020. But back to the  subject, whatever it was. Oh, yeah. As Mitch McConnell said--and Mitch is weak, but was right on this--right after a mass shooting is not the time to talk about gun laws. No, wait until they've just become another statistic. Speaking of which, I see the Center for Disease Control says that the number of gun deaths in the United States was up again in 2016, but hey, who listens to those wonks? And besides, some of these reports may be fake news. Remember how some people said the shooting at that school in Sandy Hook was staged? Not saying they're right, not saying they're wrong, just repeating what some people are saying. Finally, apparently this seriously deranged guy was dealing with some domestic problem. Well, I've had to deal with the odd domestic problem myself, so if you have one, folks, talk to me. Meanwhile, hold high the sacred Second Amendment. In guns we trust."

Editorial note: It's unlikely any reader of this blog will have a stash of assault weapons in the basement, but we felt compelled to post it anyway.

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