Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Spelling Poltergyste..er, Poltergeist

I was alarmed to see, reading a recent entry, that the Spelling Poltergeist had been at its mischievous pranks, changing the word "raced" to "raised."

You know the Spelling Poltergeist?  This is the nasty-humored spirit that pulls the well-known word out from one, leaving a laughable misspelling in its place.  F. Scott Fitzgerald was a favorite target of the relentless Spelling Poltergeist.  Fitzgerald was said to write to friends spelling their names three different ways, all wrong, on the same page.  This did not prevent him from becoming one of the twentieth century's most admired authors, creator of "The Grate Gatsby" and "Tender is the  Nite."

One is amazed that the Spelling Poltergeist does not swoop down on the now widely televised spelling bees, and one can only conclude that the words are too difficult for any but precocious nine-year-olds.  The persons who compile the list of words to be spelled enjoy coming up with many that no one, including the examiners, have ever heard.  "Pogamoggan," for example. Contestants, to buy a little time while running the alphabet through their tiny but brilliant heads, often ask the examiner to use the word in a sentence.  This is a challenge for the examiner, who frequently has no idea what the word means, and is reduced to ad libing something like "Uh..I left my pogamoggan in the garage."

The Spelling Poltergeist is a constant threat to the writer, but I am determined to stand firm against its depredations.  I will triumph, I'm convinced, because as everyone knows, I am normily a flowless spieler.

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