"We haven't been this busy in years," said Vince McGuffin, proprietor of Booze-R-Us. "I can barely keep the trunk of my cab full. If this keeps up, I may switch to a Hummer."
Mr. McGuffin and his colleagues have, however, been forced to upgrade their service. "In the old days, it was simple. People would say "Gimme a rye," and that'd be it. Now they want fancy mixed drinks--cosmopolitans, frozen daiquiris, chocolate martinis. And you think that's tough, how about my buddy Julio, who specializes in wine. He hadta hire a sommelier."
Meanwhile, Sergeant Orville Fenderbender of the Sobriety Squad says the early closing of liquor stores has been a success. "We're seeing a lot less drunken behavior on the streets," he said. However, he admitted, "There has been an upswing in glue and nutmeg sniffing."
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