The 90-Year Ski Jump

The International Olympic Committee has announced that at the 2014 Winter Olympics, women's ski jumping events will be allowed.

Men's ski jumping events have been part of the Winter Olympics since 1924, and since 1924, women ski jumpers have campaigned to be admitted. For ninety years, the IOC said no, a decision that could have resulted from (a) gender discrimination; (b) a wish to keep women as apres-ski snow bunnies; (c) inadequate bribes.

But now, women's ski jumping competitions qualify as true Winter Olympics events. And no one could be more excited than Minnie Hochauser of Lake Wappicotuck, Vermont. Minnie was one of the ski jumpers hoping to participate in the 1924 winter games, and she has never given up hope. Although now 108 years old, she says she is ready.

"I'm still in condition," Minnie says, "still hot in my ski pants. Just let me out there, and when I hit the slopes, I'll show those dopes." Blushing modestly, Minnie says, "That's a little rhyme I've made up."

With a wave of her hand, Minnie cries, "Sure as shootin', we're coming to Sochi, Mr. Putin!"