Breaking (or crumbling) News

The National Hockey League today informed a Vancouver car dealership that it could not display the phrase "G* C* G* on its window, as this has now been copyrighted and is the property of the NHL.  (The Pointless Digressions legal team has advised us not to spell the words in full, for fear of a suit costing more than the Coyotes franchise.) The NHL also has acquired sole rights to "Yay, team!" and "Dee-fence!", as well as the initials NHL.  Norman Howard Lamont and Noreen Heloise Lockwood are among thousands of Canadians required to give up using their initials. Nasty Hard Luck. 

Stephen Harper and the Missus were observed watching the Royal Wedding on television, following which the Harpers raised glasses in a toast to W. and C. The glasses appeared to contain orange juice. One hoped there might be Champagne as well, but this is unlikely. (Do you remember when Abbie Hoffman and Grace Slick tried to spike Richard Nixon's White House punch with LSD?)

On the political trail, Michael Ignatieff was seen pulling on a pair of running shoes. "Hey," he said, "it worked for Mr. Rogers." Harper sniffed, "Just like him, identifying with an American kids' icon. I, on the other hand, model myself on the Friendly Giant." Mr. Harper's waistline is proof of this.

As the election campaign spins to a close, writers of Conservative TV commercials began casting about for future employment. "I guess," said one, "we can always go back to threatening chain letters and anonymous hate mail."